The Painful Metamorphosis

And so I missed several more days of College Literature...dang colds!

FYI: Parts of this story is fiction and parts are non-fiction. It's a mixture of a story I decided to write and a little about my personal life.

The Painful Metamorphosis

It was a rainy afternoon and the cool air felt calming against the features of my face. The weather, this was expected, but what just happened, well, I had no idea.

"What am I even doing here!" I yelled as hot tears rolled down my cheeks and stung my eyes. I was not prepared for this, above all things, not this.

You know in movies, romances specifically, the main characters fall in love after knowing each other for what seems like five minutes? Did you ever think about them falling out of love, how long that would take? I never thought of it either, until now.

Love. Truly loving someone. This was not something you could flip on and off as easily as a light switch. No. This was something else and I knew it far too well.

I threw a stone into the ocean. Stupid stone. Oh what I would give to be that stone and not have feelings or emotions. Sometimes I'm such a typical girl, so predictably emotional.

There was something new with this end. The pain. Not just emotional, but physical. I suddenly felt like a different person. I felt like I had to hold myself together or else I'd fall apart, it hurt more badly than any injury I'd ever had in my life.

It would be so much easier if he hadn't changed. This whole thing? Not my fault. Honestly, just two days ago things were the same, he was the same. How can one person change so dramatically in such a short time?

"I need a break from this relationship," I had said to him.
"How about an end..." His response had shot a surge of surprise and pain through my body.

And that was it. No questions asked, just anger and tears. I only needed a break because of the way he treated me that day, I thought it would be like any other fight. I'd cry, he'd say he wanted to do whatever he could to keep me and make me happy again, I was wrong. Dead wrong.

Now look where I am. A mess. How did this happen? Two different people who were so close and so in love, truly, for so long, suddenly so different. I am not okay with change and this was so swift and so intense...

I was standing by the ocean, on the rocks. It was my escape, I was in complete solitude. The sound of the waves echoed with my thoughts. I screamed into the sky as if it would answer me or at least take away the pain.

Who was I? I just lost everything I had ever felt connected to. Part of me was gone, was I ever going to get that part back? Even if this end was good or maybe right for me, was it really what I needed?

I sat on the rocks for hours crying until the only water left on my face was from the continuous rain which was now pouring out of the sky. My heart was completely broken, not just in two, but into several million tiny pieces that didn't actually belong to me. They had belonged to him. And now that they were shattered, where did they belong?